Nothing to do with the class, but....

ASSOCIATED PRESS Washington D.C. April 20, 2004

In a new book by Bob Woodward on the decision to go to war with Iraq
President George W. Bush stated that he did not ask his father,
George H.W. Bush, for advice on the road to war. He stated that he
had all the advice he needed from "his Father in Heaven."

ASSOCIATED PRESS, Washington D.C. December 2004

As a prelude to his second term President George W. Bush announced
that according to advice from "his father in Heaven" he is issuing
new policy directives to his cabinet that are guided by his understanding of the Bible.
As Leviticus 21:20 clearly states that no one with vision defects "may approach the altar of G-
d" laser eye surgery is being made a mandatory Medicare and Medicaid
procedure, a new benefit costing billions of dollars a year. Also, as
per Leviticus, the Agriculture Department is no longer allowed to
provide subsidies to farmers who plant two crops in the same field as
that is an abomination in the sight of the Lord. The Defense
Department has been told that uniforms can only be made of 100%
cotton or 100% wool, as blends are also an abomination. There is
still some discussion on the composition of body armor. It has
already been decided that all military personnel can grow their hair
as long as they like, so long as they are issued the jawbone of an
ass and a slingshot. In other DoD news Secretary Rumsfeld has
confirmed that Saddam Hussein is not anything like Hitler, but he
does seem to bear some resemblance to the Anti-Christ according to a
panel of experts provided by Bob Jones University.

President Bush also announced that he supports the proposed
constitutional amendments proposed by Senator Orrin Hatch (R- Utah)
legalizing slavery as long as race or ethnicity are not considered a
reason, only nationality as is consistent with a reading of Exodus
and Leviticus which states that slaves can be from neighboring
countries. Migrant workers would greatly benefit from such a policy
the senior senator from Utah announced on the Senate floor. Governor
Jeb Bush(R- Florida) exclaimed that it could allow for increased
immigration from Haiti on humanitarian grounds. Canada has announced
that it will be recalling its ambassador for consultation.

President Bush has also announced that the mayors of cities that
allow same sex marriage will be stoned. The Mayor of San Francisco,
Gavin Newsom(G), made clear that he only performs weddings stoned, so
that this should not be a problem.